Homunculus Family Dinner
by Bloody Simpson Chibi
Summary: Father wants to eat with his children like a family. I think we all know where this is going. Rated T


**Homunculus Family Dinner**

 **by Bloody Simpson Chibi**

 **Disclaimer** **: Do not own FMAB**

Wrath and Pride were driving up to the laboratory where Father sat underneath.

"Remind me why I'm here again." Pride asked in a stern tone.

"Father said it was important that we meet up. He said it was urgent."

Pride replied with a disgruntled sigh just as they drove up.

"By the way, what did you tell mother?" Pride asked.

"I simply said a friend of mine wanted to see you."

Pride giggled. "Human will believe anything."

The two hommunculus entered the lab and found themselves in a giant dining hall. They were approached by three figures. As they got closer, Wrath could see that they were Lust, Envy, and Gluttony.

"Ahh. Greetings Lust and Envy." Wrath said. "How are you two doing?"

"Fine." Lust replied. "I just wish Father would tell us why we're here."

"Yeah. I got places to be and people to kill!" Envy whined

"Lust. When can we eat again? I'm starving." asked Gluttony.

"Once we see what Father wants, I'll take you to eat as many people as you want." Lust said. All of a sudden, there was a loud booming sound as Sloth blasted through the wall.

"Being summoned...by Father...is...too much effort..." He groaned.

"What the hell is Sloth doing here?" Pride said in shock.

"Yeah. Shouldn't he be working?" Envy agreed.

The homunculi 's confused banter was interrupted by loud footsteps from behind them. The all turned around to see Greed walking up to the table.

"G-G-Greed!" Envy's jaw dropped to the floor.

"In the flesh." Greed smiled. "Now where the hell is the old man? I got places to be and babes to fu-

"This must be a very important matter is Father summoned all of us together." said Wrath, deliberately interrupting Greed so Pride couldn't hear the swear that he was about to say despite the fact that Pride was older than him. Heavy machine whirring told the homuncuil that Father was coming. They looked to the head of the table and sure enough, Father was seating himself.

"My children. Please sit." He said.

Each of the homuncuil took a seat. Sloth's chair broke underneath his weight and Gluttony got stuck between the his chair and the table. Wrath sat at the opposite end of Father.

"We're all here now." Lust said. "Now what did you want to talk to us about?"

Father took a sip of water and began. "You are my children. You are literally my flesh and blood. We are a family and I think it's time we start doing family things."

All of the homuncuil were confused. "Father, what the hell are you talking about?" Asked Wrath.

"I think the old man forgot to take his pills today." Greed said.

"And I think you're an idiot! Shut up!" Lust shouted.

Bowls of stew and a piece of stale bread fell in front of each of the homuncuil as well as Father.

"We will eat and talk about our day like a family!" Father said.

"Well if it's an order Father." Wrath complied and ate a spoonful of stew. "How is everyone?"

"Really?" Envy said in disgust. "You're going along with this bullcrap?"

"It's an order from Father."

Lust ate some of her stew as well. "He does have a point you know."

"Fine!" Envy relented started eating the stew.

"Food!" Gluttony swallowed his entire bowl in a second.

"Eating...is...too much effort." Sloth said as Greed was taking his bowl.

"Hey! You can't take Sloth's bowl!" Envy shouted.

"My name's Greed. I can do whatever I want!" He said as he was taking Envy's bowl as well.

"Hey! That's mine!" Envy and Greed began fighting over the bowl while Lust tried to break it up. Sloth was asleep again and Gluttony was chewing on the table. Wrath and Pride were the only ones eating normally. However, Greed and Envy's banter was beginning to set Wrath off. Pride on the other hand was enjoying the show.

"Children please." Father begged.

"THAT'S IT!" Wrath drew his swords and charged at Greed and Envy and sliced the bowl in half. "There now you both can have it."

"What the hell? You ruined my food!: Envy transformed into it's giant monster form. "Now you're gonna pay!"

"Oh boy! Count me in!" Greed transformed as well into his defense form and charged at Envy.

"Stop it you two!" Lust extended her claws and joined the fray along with Wrath. Sloth was now on the floor sleeping and Gluttony cried out "I'm hungry!" His mouth extended and sucked everyone and everything in it.

"Oh no!" Everyone shouted as they disappeared into the void.

...

All I wanted was a nice family dinner." Father said.

"Don't beat yourself up over it Father. That's how family dinners are supposed to go." Pride said.

"Really?"

"Yes! How do you think my human family can get along so well."

"Awwww! Thank you Pride." Father and Pride hugged while Greed, Wrath and Envy fought, Sloth slept, and Lust wondered why she even bothered anymore.

 **The End**


End file.
